We all want to be in love. Real love, not that one night or one week or even one month thing that you wish would last but doesn’t. Read on to find out why you can’t find love and then maybe, just maybe…you will!
Everybody wants that lasting love. The forever love that makes you feel wanted and safe and without worry for what’s to come. You want that kind of love, but you just can’t seem to find it, no matter what you do. Here’s why:
1. You Aren’t Looking in the Right Places
You can’t find love just anywhere. And certainly not on a Friday night after you’ve had one too many and even that dorky guy (or girl) in the corner looks like “the one”.
Here’s a tip: If you want to find true love, you need to be clear headed. Drunk love will only get you so far and then one day (the next morning) you wake up and wonder: “What the heck was I thinking?” I’m not saying that finding your soul mate at the local watering hole won’t work. But it isn’t the smartest way either; once you’ve had a few you’ve got to know the choices you make aren’t the best ones – usually.
2. You Give “it” Up Too Quickly
You know what “it” is and you know I’m right. Finding true love doesn’t mean taking every guy (or girl) you meet on an intimate tour around your bedroom on the first date. No doubt the passion is there (especially if you’ve had a few) but afterwards – and often – you’re left wondering why you did “it” again.
Here’s a tip: Don’t let sex lead your heart or your head. The best parts of falling in love are the steps you take to get to “that moment”. It may be clique but following the old baseball rule (first base, second, third…) isn’t so dumb when you’re looking for love to last.
3. You Can’t Unpack Your Bags
All that baggage you are carrying around from your last 12 trysts is certainly not going to help you find love.
Or will it?
Instead of expecting that your new guy (or girl) is going to treat you like the last one, use what you’ve learned (from the last 12 trysts) to grow and learn from your mistakes. Don’t go looking for trouble, but if you see signs that remind you of the past, move on; otherwise all you’ve done is pick up a new piece of baggage.
4. You Assume Everyone You Meet is “The One”
No matter where you meet him (or her) or how fast you hopped in bed, you assume this one is the one from the moment you saw him (or her).
Here’s a tip: Slow down. Your heart can lead and you can enjoy those butterflies but you have to use your head too. Finding love, true and lasting love, does not happen every day and with everyone you meet. Take time to get to know this person and you might just surprise yourself by discovering that he or she is actually “the one”.
5. You are Inexperienced
Dare I say it? Too young. Too naive. Too much in a rush. Too quick to think about working to make it last?
There is plenty of proof that young people find their true love and make it last all the rest of their lives. But it is more rare than you think. You need the experience of looking for love. Of making mistakes and learning from them to find love. It’s wonderful to think at a young age that you’ve found the person you will spend the rest of your life with. But you also have to grow with that person, not away from him (or her).
This takes time and (life) experience.
And, because I’m feeling generous, here’s a bonus tip for you, probably the most important aspect of finding love.
Stop Looking for Love
If you believe nothing I’ve written above, so be it. But know this: most of the time you can’t find love. It finds you. So stop looking for love and just appreciate it when love finds you.
And remember, love is a gift. Don’t abuse it once you find it and you’ll discover that true love will always see you through.
What makes me a love expert?
All of the above.