A friend can be someone with whom you are so close with that you share a bond, a bond you may expect to last lifetime. Friends can be trusted to speak the truth. With friends you can be your authentic, vulnerable self. But what if that if the bond of intimacy no longer exists? What if you feel yourself drawing apart from friends?
Have you ever had friends who drained you dry emotionally? What were the signs that told you it was time to part? Did you find you had less and less in common? Did you no longer have the patience to sustain them through another drama? Did you find yourself avoiding contact and turning down invitations? Did you feel a strong desire to graciously fade out their life?
“Women’s friendships can be very close and intense so it can be as painful as breaking up with a partner when things go wrong. Women also tend to see their friendships as a measure of their worth, so when a relationship with a close friend breaks up, not only will you feel hurt by the rejection, but you are also likely to feel a failure for not being able to maintain that friendship.” clinical psychologist Irene S. Levine – Best Friends Forever: Surviving A Break Up With Your Best Friend
We are encouraged to believe that friends will be around for ever. We expect relationships to last for a lifetime. There are poems and songs and quotes on friendship that feature longevity. But not every person we are close to today will be in our life in years to come. Some friendships endure and others don’t.
When our personal circumstances change, our friendships can also change, and that can lead us to examine where we are investing our time and energy. Examining our friendships in terms of the synergies between our experience of another person and our own values is key to living a conscious life.