Do you ever feel as if you’re being torn apart by the demands other people are making on you?
All day, every day, from many different directions, it seems there’s always someone asking for your valuable time and precious attention.
You don’t say “no” because it’s what they’ve come to expect of you. You can’t turn them down because they rely on you. They all do.
It’s relentless. Everyone wants a piece, yet there’s only so much of you to go around.
Your own experience of life is gradually being lost, a forgotten victim of the compulsion to put other people first.
In the end, no one benefits from you allowing yourself to be pulled left, right and centre by countless folk wanting a part of you.
Are you giving away so much support to others that you’re neglecting your own wellbeing?
If so, both you – and those who lean on you – would gain much from you showing yourself a little more care.
At times, I’ve felt frazzled and exhausted by trying to attend to other folk’s needs. I’m sure you know what it’s like. As soon as you finish dealing with one person, along comes another request for your attention. Your own plans go out the window.
Often, all you really want to do is to cry: “Leave me alone!”, though you daren’t say it out loud. People would be hurt and horrified.
Despite how worn out you really are, you bite your tongue, do what’s required – and again focus on what’s going on in their lives, while ignoring your own.
Why We Give Too Much to Others
There are conflicting demands thrust on all of us from a range of sources. Partners; family; parents; friends; colleagues, the boss… the list goes on.
Each of them looking for one more thing out of us.
With most of these people, there’s an expectation that we’ll give them our full attention, when they ask for it. We view it as our job to be available for them whenever they call upon us.
We can feel (or be made to feel) extremely guilty if we even think of giving less than our total commitment to these people. This is despite any negative effects on our time and emotional health.
- It’s a parent’s job to pour everything they have into their children
- It’s a child’s job to devote themselves to their parents
- It’s a friend’s job to be there for a friend in need
But, what happens when meeting all of these responsibilities leads to you being left with scarce energy to care for yourself – should you simply accept that tending to your own life comes second?
Don’t ignore the fact it’s also an essential duty to look after ourselves properly. Are you taking that job as seriously as your sense of obligation to others?
Pushing your personal worries and desires to the back of the queue is a selfless act when someone is searching for your help. It’s a much-needed sacrifice we all make.
It’s never selfish to care for yourself, though.
To Give Value to Others, First Invest in Yourself
When you fall into the habit of constantly giving your needs a lower priority than other people’s, you’ll likely not bother with them at all. Once you’ve dealt with everyone else, there’s not much time and effort reserved for you.
How can we be of any value to someone, if we fail to value ourselves?
That means exploring your talents and skills. Maybe take a risk or two. Doing anything and everything to improve your experience of life.
We’ve surely got to nourish our own existence in order to sustain others?
It’s similar to keeping a healthy bank account. Withdrawals are taken out all the time and funds soon run low. Without sufficient deposits of incoming money, the account is frozen. An empty bank account is pretty useless to anyone!
On occasions, you’ll have to say “no” and take steps to put yourself first when the demands on you become too great. Doing this may be difficult because you’ve never had to draw the line before.
Protect your future enjoyment of life by showing yourself the same care you usually keep for others alone.
You deserve it.
How are you coping with the demands other folk make on you? Do you find it a struggle to find time to care for yourself?